The trip to Sedona, in the mountains of Arizona, was finally arranged. The luggage was almost packed. In a few days, I would travel to meet Starry Song, the shaman gifted with the ability to spread the ancestral philosophy of his people through the stories he told. That was when Heitor, the Argentinian monk who was also part of the EOMM, called me saying he was very upset. He had had a serious argument with his brothers, with whom his relationship had always been strained and worsened over time. Since they inherited a medium-sized company from their parents as the only shareholders, they managed it together. The animosity had reached a critical point, with the brothers united in an attempt to corner Heitor, making direct criticisms of his work at the firm and acid commentaries about his personal life choices. An unbearable atmosphere, the monk confessed to me.
I suggested he step away from the company’s management. Physical distance might be necessary. Heitor said he could do this as a holiday, but never permanently. Although he was a well-known writer of spiritualist novels, the income from the business was important to complement the revenue from his books. Before I could make another comment, he told me he would arrive in Rio de Janeiro in a few days. The ticket was bought, and a hotel booked at Posto 6 in Copacabana, his favourite neighbourhood in the city. Since we were great friends, he counted on me as someone to talk to about the issues that still affected him, in an effort to undo the distress he felt.
I wanted to support Heitor, who needed me at that moment, while also wanting to be with Starry Song to benefit from his wonderful teachings. Professional commitments would not allow me to postpone the trip to Sedona to any nearby date. I went to pick up the monk at the airport. There, I revealed my dilemma and, as a solution, invited him to accompany me to the Arizona mountains. Without a doubt, the shaman would be able to guide him with insights I didn’t yet possess. He was initially surprised, but in the next moment, like all free spirits, he said we should buy his ticket right away. He had always been enchanted by the magic of life and the unexpected nature of events as invitations to the unimaginable. We boarded two days later.
Kind and generous as always, Starry Song welcomed us with a sincere smile and serene demeanour. After leaving our bags in the rooms, we went to the porch to talk as evening approached. Without any rush, sitting in his rocking chair, the shaman lit his tobacco in his characteristic pipe with its red stone stummel. He puffed a few times, seemingly amused by the dance of the smoke in the gentle breeze of late afternoon. Without us having mentioned Heitor’s problems, Starry Song looked at him as if he could see the monk’s naked soul and said: “You are a great warrior, but you will lose the battle if you don’t understand the weapons you possess.”
Recovering from the shock of such an abrupt commentary, Heitor confessed he suffered constant attacks from his brothers. Provocation and contempt occurred at every encounter. Worse, they withheld information about the firm to isolate him indirectly; by denying him the proper conditions to understand the problems, they rendered him unable to participate actively or offer solutions. He had to fight for what should have been provided by obligation and right. In meetings, they came with prearranged decisions, making Heitor’s participation merely decorative. In the last meeting, a heated argument ensued, and he had to threaten legal intervention for his opposing view—against firing long-time employees to hire new ones at lower salaries—to be considered. Isolated, he had to endure comments accusing him of resisting modern business trends due to what they called Christian guilt or claiming his stance was merely to impress the employees.
Starry Song asked, “How much truth is there in this?” Heitor explained that he was a genuine Christian, using the fundamental principles of this precious philosophy, such as those outlined in the Sermon on the Mount, to guide his choices. He relied on the virtues and commitments he had made to his own truth, at the furthest frontier his conscience had reached to date. In this case, it was not about dismissing anyone for inefficiency, misconduct, or incompetence, but simply to achieve higher profits. Therefore, he would never allow himself to cause harm to those who had effectively contributed for so many years to maintaining and growing the company. It wasn’t about vanity or religious guilt but about responsibility to everyone, including himself, he affirmed. He added that no one is obligated to take on any commitment, but he believed commitments are personal choices that define the beauty and greatness of an existence. He refused to live shallow days. There was sincerity in his words. With teary eyes, he admitted he couldn’t bear the provocative and mocking comments anymore. Working in the company alongside his brothers had become a torment. It was difficult to handle so many attacks, he admitted.
Starry Song puffed on his pipe and asked, “Do you understand?” Heitor spread his arms as if to say, “Understand what?” There was nothing yet to understand. The shaman explained: “The world is a place of encounters and misencounters. At the point of planetary evolutionary scale where we are, it is still important for it to be this way. Friends teach us the value of love, acceptance, friendship, and solidarity. Adversaries teach us about who we are by showing us our deficiencies and incompleteness, offering opportunities for valuable improvements; that’s why they are so important. Although their intention is almost never this, it doesn’t really matter. Never forget to be grateful for such invaluable collaboration.”
The Argentinian monk said he understood what the shaman meant. That was one of the meanings of the famous lesson about loving your enemies. However, he still hadn’t grasped where that conversation was leading. Starry Song pointed out: “To your imbalance and fragility. Or, if you prefer, to the instability of emotions stemming from a lack of confidence in the ideas that uplift and sustain you. You have knowledge but seem not to believe in the power and magic of its content.” He continued: “Attacks will come all the time, from many sides and in varying intensities. We do not wish for them, but we still need them for the necessary refinement of the spirit we are. Therefore, never get angry or saddened so you can reap the benefits they offer.”
Heitor expressed his difficulty in not being upset by the criticisms and provocations. He emphasized that they were refined to the point of being presented indirectly and even kindly if seen without due attention. Starry Song made a gesture, as if to indicate he understood the strategy of the attacks, and remarked: “Pay attention only to what deserves your attention. Give me a single good reason why an offense deserves privileged treatment in your heart. Why fill it with rubbish?” He paused briefly before posing another rhetorical question: “Do you pick up the trash you find on the street to decorate your house?”
The monk from Buenos Aires shook his head. Then, he added that the problem lay in the fact that the offence kept hammering incessantly in his mind. No matter how hard he tried to push it away, he couldn’t. It was as if he saw the same photograph everywhere he went. Forgetting seemed impossible. Starry Song corrected him: “This is one of the common mistakes that prevent us from moving forward. Forgetting is not an option. Erasing a memory is not permitted. We can repress or suppress an unpleasant memory, but this is terrible; it would be like hiding a wild animal within the heart. Sooner or later, it will devour us.” He looked at the stars for a moment before continuing: “Understand that an offence belongs to the one who delivers it. When it reaches the door of your heart, you have the choice to invite it in or to prevent its entry. When you bring rubbish into your heart, the stench permeates the mind, making the memory recurrent. This is how the demons that terrorise us are born. There’s no point in lamenting. They are the fruit of our unwarranted permissions.”
He puffed on his pipe again and said: “If you don’t act in time, the demons will grow until the day they take possession of the house. Your heart.” Heitor admitted he didn’t know how to do that. The shaman clarified: “All power lies in the mind; magic resides in the heart.”
Then, he went on: “You are the result of the mixture of your thoughts and your feelings. Virtues and shadows duel to dominate your mind. The victor will determine who you are, the delights and sorrows of your days, as well as your near destiny. It is a battle fought minute by minute, from one moment to the next, where a slight lapse can lose a battle you were winning. A provocation, a scowl, an offence, a suspicion can open the flanks of our defences, allowing shadows to settle in. A bitterness in the heart, if not promptly corrected with the sweetness of proper and correct thoughts—like the necessary cleaning every house requires—will contaminate the mind with escalating spirals of anguish, sadness, and revolt. The battle will be lost, leading to wasted days, interrupted dreams, unfinished projects, and severed joys.” He shrugged before concluding: “These are the consequences. The causes proliferate because you still do not own yourself.”
Heitor disagreed. He stated he was in control of his own life. He was free and made his choices consciously. The shaman furrowed his brow and corrected him: “There are degrees of freedom, as there are levels of consciousness. You are free up to the last boundary reached in the union of your thoughts and feelings. Consciousness is the perception and sensitivity you have about yourself and the world around you. This is how we establish the boundaries of individual freedoms, which are completed through each movement, gesture, and attitude.” He then concluded: “If you cannot choose the thoughts and feelings that guide you, it means you do not yet belong entirely to yourself. You cannot be free while dominated by ideas and emotions that imprison you in suffering and anguish.”
Gradually, Starry Song’s reasoning brought clarity to our perspective: “By allowing an offence or provocation to reach the heart, unhealthy emotions will contaminate the mind, like a paralysing gas bomb, narrowing reasoning into a vicious, recurring thought. That harmful event will return to memory repeatedly, preventing you from living fully the countless other situations life offers, developing new ideas, and embracing the magic of the days. By allowing someone’s attitude to stir dense emotions, without realising it, you will soon have your consciousness imprisoned. Yes, you will be trapped by the suffering that has taken residence inside you. This is the limiting effect that restricts the freedom of many people. Few realise it.”
Like a tailored suit, those words fit me perfectly. I wanted to know how to dismantle that prison. Starry Song explained: “It takes effort, but it is always possible when you have the will to walk, the courage to face unpleasant truths, and, above all, self-love. Understand why you allowed the offence into your house. Often, there is an emotional dependency on others’ approval, as if self-acceptance awaits confirmation from more and more people. It’s not just drugs that are addictive; the need for approval, belonging, and applause has a vast legion of addicts. None of this is necessary. Your consciousness, as it expands, will be the only guide to lead you along the Path, correct the necessary routes, recover from falls, rectify mistakes, avoid harm, and sow good wherever you go. The journey is yours and no one else’s. So, forgive, trust yourself, and move on.”
Starry Song continued: “The next step is to take that provocation sitting on the sofa of your heart and remove it from the house. Without any anger or resentment, explain gently but firmly that there is no longer room for it inside you. Make it clear that this is an honest dialogue between you and yourself. No one else. There’s no need to wait for anyone else’s permission. You are now the master of your house.” He puffed on his pipe and added: “This command comes from the mind. Once what was contaminating the heart is removed, deleterious emotions will give way to subtle feelings. You will be enveloped in a pleasant and unforgettable sensation. Believe me, it’s real. When the larvae are removed, flowers sprout to perfume and colour the garden. The house is transformed. We are our mind, but we dwell in our hearts.”
I asked if, in the face of provocation, we should simply treat the offender with disdain. The shaman disagreed: “This is a common mistake that ends up allowing them to take residence within you. Disdain is a sad yet socially accepted form of aggression. A retaliation through a silent attitude with a supposed and absurd air of superiority. The pleasure of turning your face away at the first opportunity reflects the bitter taste installed in the heart. Nothing more than hateful vengeance; barbarity disguised as civility. The battle remains lost.”
He watched the smoke dance before his eyes after taking a puff and said: “It’s all so much simpler…” He arched his lips in a barely perceptible smile and explained: “It is necessary to understand that an offence speaks of the one who uttered it, evil reveals the disoriented soul of the one who practised it, and provocation is the desperate cry of someone lost in the dark. It has nothing to do with you. Therefore, it will only enter your house if you allow it. Every time it knocks at your door, simply say gently but firmly, in this house, there is room only for light; only love can reside here. That’s all, nothing more.”
Like Heitor, I reflected on all the moments I had allowed offences and provocations to enter my heart; when I brought rubbish from the street into my house. There were countless times. I recalled how that habit—or unwarranted permission—harmed me. I let myself be invaded by unhealthy emotions, and as a result, my ideas became trapped, imprisoned by those events. Out of ignorance, the story repeated itself. Unpleasant moments repressed me in bitterness and misunderstandings, preventing me from being fully present in so many important and precious things waiting for me, such as projects, dreams, studies, work, and other relationships. Although I lived those situations, a part of me—perhaps the best part, the one containing indispensable joy—was never there. I lost the sweetness of life because I had handed over the key to my house to demons who, one day, when they knocked on the door, I inadvertently let in. Worse, my dormant ones were awakened to join their rebellion.
I said I also needed a thorough cleaning. There were people and situations living inside me that could no longer remain seated on the sofa—worse still, giving orders and leaving the house in disarray. Heitor furrowed his brow and nodded his head as if to say it was no different for him. The full moon was high in a cloudless sky, illuminating the landscape like a gentler second sun. Starry Song invited us to a place not far from there. In just a few minutes, his battered pickup truck brought us near the shores of a beautiful, mirror-like lake. We spread out blankets to sit on, and without delay, the shaman began drumming on his two-faced drum, producing an ancestral melody, invoking good spirits to illuminate and protect us during this simple yet powerful magical ceremony.
Building on the words spoken earlier on the porch, which had awakened our consciousness, Starry Song used his gift for native philosophy and music to guide us through unknown pathways connecting the mind and heart. Only when this connection is completed with purity and softness—after discarding all harshness and unnecessary clutter—does an individual begin the journey to unite the fragmented parts into a single, integrated whole. The complete being.
The misunderstanding and suffering within the Argentine monk were so intense that he felt compelled to speak. Hearing his own voice helped him understand everything he had experienced—the misguided concessions, the grudges hardened by time, the pains never revealed, and some never even admitted. He needed to listen to both his mind and his heart, silenced by the shame of confessing his difficulty in dealing with himself. A tremendous amount of debris had to be removed before the house could be clean. Tears helped in the cleansing process. Starry Song guided him on his journey:
“After deep cleaning, a new arrangement is necessary; some furniture needs to be moved around, and then, don’t forget to perfume the house. To do so, don’t look at those who provoked or offended you as if they were executioners. That’s the wrong target. They acted in the way they knew or could. Compassion must exist, a beautiful way to lovingly understand another’s inability. On the other hand, you allowed yourself to be affected because of your emotional imbalance, which prevented you from sustaining the knowledge you have already acquired. Humility must exist—a wise way to learn about who you have yet to become. Otherwise, you won’t understand the reasons behind your lingering fragility. To be free, it is essential to assume absolute control of your mind and heart, without any harmful interference. Wisdom brings great power, but without love, it remains a murky source—just a slightly more sophisticated one—of conflict and suffering. Wisdom holds strength; love provides balance. Together, they offer direction. Then, we gain power and magic over ourselves and everything around us. The curtains open for the sun to illuminate the house. Fully and definitively.”
As the stars moved along the pathways of the sky, Heitor began removing all the unwanted occupants from his house, as well as the enormous accumulation of clutter. He bore no ill intention towards anyone; he simply would no longer allow them to disrupt his peace. In silence, I did the same.
We remained wordless for an indeterminate amount of time. The sky had begun taking on shades of pink and orange when Heitor asked how he should act upon returning to work and interacting with his brothers. He had understood the harm he caused himself by endlessly dwelling on an offence or provocation. He had already cleaned the house and would no longer open the door for those issues to return or for new ones to enter. He had grasped the power he held in his hands. However, he couldn’t change the behaviour of others who, if they continued acting the same way, would still cause him discomfort. Starry Song nodded in agreement and added,
“Believing others must change for your days to become pleasant is one of the most common misconceptions. Everything that bothers us about someone else indicates something within ourselves that needs change.”
Heitor argued that if his brothers were wrong, the change should come from them. I agreed. Starry Song smiled faintly and reflected,
“Yes, that would be ideal. But it likely won’t happen, and you can’t wait for something that may take forever. Such dependency will bring discomfort and unease. When you realise it, the house will be dirty again; if it takes too long, the pillars will have been corroded by so much acidity. Then, everything collapses. The stubbornness to change someone is the folly of fools—illegitimate because, as long as no crimes are committed, people have the right to be as they are, whether we like it or not; ineffective because if someone does not wish to change their way of relating with other people, nothing will have any effect.”
“However, you also have the right to live without others bringing discomfort or unease into your life. For that, two principles are fundamental: respect and action. Respect establishes the boundaries of relationships by defining the point the other must never cross. Define it with clarity, education, and seriousness. Aggressiveness is unnecessary; if there is a fight, it means you have not yet gained the strength and balance needed. Yelling is a sign of nonexistent power. A determined gaze and a calm voice are sufficient. Your life, your rules; be firm but serene, so there is no doubt, for yourself or anyone else.”
He then concluded “After establishing the boundaries of the relationship, act. Accept that action is necessary for you to escape the dependency of waiting for someone’s behaviour to change, which you don’t know when—or even if—it will happen. Without malice or taking what is not yours, seek what you need without depending on others to give it to you. Then, you will find the peace and freedom you deserve.”
The Argentine monk smiled with amazement, as if seeing something he had never been able to perceive before. He explained that his discomfort came from his brothers banding together to corner him and limit his decisions in the company. Since all operations were recorded in the financial and inventory accounts, he decided that setting aside a few weekly hours to gather the necessary information would end his dependency, erasing the discomfort. It would be a lot of work, but it would solve the issue. This approach, coupled with a balanced and serene posture, would restore his inner strength. Their behaviour would no longer bother him. He had understood the meaning of being in charge of himself and taking control of his own life.
The shaman reminded us: “Each situation is unique, as it involves different people and conditions. However, there will always be an appropriate stance to establish the necessary respect, as well as the correct action to dismantle the trap in which you are caught. Power and magic lie hidden in the art of tidying the house. That is the road to freedom and peace.”
Starry Song’s two-faced drum played a melody of gratitude to close the sacred ceremony. Many transformations had been allowed. Then, the first rays of the morning sun caressed our faces.
Translated by: Cazmilian Zórdic
