The problem is not the problem, but the inability of moving on in the face of adversity. It is losing the possibility of transformation, a decision that is purely internal, that depends on you alone.
There are two players in this process: the ego, that will make you feel you were wronged, undeserving of the hardships that fell upon you, and that places you in the most unwholesome prison of victimization. On the other side, there is the soul, the eternal spirit of who we are, who longs for evolution and knows that cowardice does not change reality.
Is the hardship serious? Death, diseases followed by irreversible sequelae, loves that are lost, painful bankruptcies… So what? Are they impossible to be reverted from the external setting? Maybe Life is pointing out that changes should be made within ourselves.
No, it is not easy, and no one said otherwise.
“You say it because it did not happen to you”, many will shout. No, it did not happen to me this time. Everyone, no exceptions made, face their own battles.
Each one has their problems according to their precise need of evolution. The ego of the sufferer has difficulties in understanding that. After all, we are, all, do-gooders and almost perfect, right? Yes and no. We all move towards fulfillment, but the road is long and becomes bumpy if the walker’s step is crooked. The lack of understanding of how to walk properly makes the journey more difficult and longer. Do you want to change the Way? Just change the way you walk. Understand that you can drag yourself or fly through the crossing, and that choice is yours alone. Paws or wings? Understanding, evolving and transforming yourself is just enough. The shamanic traditions that seek wisdom in nature teach that that is the lesson of the butterfly. The power is yours.
As simple as that? Yes and no.
For some time I experienced the routine of a cancer clinic. I found people who were sincerely happy, as they had never been before, for having developed the disease. Strange? No. The proximity of death gave them new meaning for their lives, gave them clarity in their eyes, and thus a reason to live. Their values, how they looked at things and the importance they gave them changed.
A very dear friend saw the great love of her life leave. After moments of intense sadness and bitterness, she came to realize that true happiness is only within each one of us, and nowhere else or with no one else, as no one has the power and obligation to make the other happy. Only when we suffice ourselves, when we understand and love our own company, without a trace of emotional dependence, we will be ready to share the purity and, more importantly, the true freedom of love with someone. Yes, only when we understand that even though it is wonderful to be next to the one we love, this cannot be indispensable for our happiness. What is indispensable for being happy is that you encounter yourself. This friend decided to take on the challenge of developing a different look at all things and at herself, and only then she could live her true, beautiful love story. With herself and with the other.
A well-known family, extremely rich, went bankrupt in a short time due to wrong decisions and the macroeconomic situation. Some members drowned in depression, and there was even a case of suicide. Other members had the strength to reinvent themselves, and had the joy to find out that the best stories are those about bouncing back. Each one made their choice. From the same raw material each artist made their work. Which was a sad-ending drama for some, for others it was the adventure of their lives.
Yes, it all comes down to choices, and, if you pay attention, you will see that we make plenty of them in the course of a single day. As absurd as this may be, in face of any difficulty try to appease your mind and heart. Despair, fear and anger are poor advisors. With calm, courage and boldness in a short while you will realize you have all the tools to face the problem.
Try to keep you spirit strong and sharp, and raise your level of consciousness to face difficulties when they arise. Bear in mind that a number of situations that made you sleepless in the recent past are irrelevant in your memory today.
The true warrior is strong in mind and spirit. Because he is his own and stronger ally in the big battles, and at the same time his first adversary. The main battles are fought within ourselves.
The important is to understand that difficulties are part of life; the best solutions are those that we operate within ourselves, as they point to clear transformations. To live is to evolve. The problems teach valuable lessons. They are Masters under disguise.
Translated from the Portuguese by Carlos André Oighenstein