Rio de Janeiro is a city wedged between the sea and the mountains. The same thing that causes major problems in solving traffic issues is also what brings such enchantment: its stunning natural beauty. The same goes for me and for you. For everyone. The origin of beauty lies in difficulties. It’s not an easy concept to grasp; and even when understood, acceptance still tends to be quite hard. The theory applies well to other people’s lives; with ourselves, our feelings often don’t align with what we know. Instead of taking advantage of the opportunity for transformation and growth that obstacles offer, we often let ourselves be consumed by anger or sadness; we’re swallowed by what should serve as momentum. Our movements reveal who we are, never just our knowledge.
Whenever life seems to put me in checkmate, I climb Pedra Bonita, a massive granite outcrop perched a few hundred meters above and along the edge of the Atlantic Ocean, from where it’s possible to see several neighbourhoods of the city. It becomes necessary to reflect in order to find solutions where all solutions await: within ourselves. Everything else, if it doesn’t pertain to my choices, I let unfold without any trace of suffering. Any disappointments and frustrations reveal misunderstandings about the lived experience. Then, the experience must be reworked with new lenses and filters.
The sea, the mountain, and the metropolis with all their beauty and problems. Just like you and me. At the final stretch of the climb to the top, near the ramp where hang-gliders take off, I ran into Eduardo, a college friend I hadn’t seen in nearly forty years. Although we hadn’t studied the same course, we shared an apartment with two other friends. We were close during college, talked a lot, even shared confidences. Later, life pulled us apart; concerned with launching our professional lives, we allowed the distance to grow. Although I hadn’t seen him, I had heard news from other friends, from the papers and TV, and more recently, through social media. He had built a career in a government agency with significant political clout, holding influential positions with great power within the institution. Recently, the agency had been privatized. What I didn’t know was that with the restructuring came his dismissal. After losing his job, his wife , a beautiful woman he was deeply in love with, decided to leave. Crushed, Eduardo admitted he didn’t know how to handle such significant losses. A grief so deep, he confessed, it robbed him of the will to live.
Since then, he had been going daily to the hang-gliding ramp. Every day, he considered launching himself into the sky with no wings. I told him to abandon such a mistake. Suppressing experiences is no solution; fleeing is not an escape, but rather a worsening of the equation. The solutions slip further away. The journey becomes harder. Eduardo argued there was no way out. I told him that doors and paths don’t cease to exist just because they’re invisible to our eyes. Life expands or contracts according to the reach of our gaze.
I then invited him to accompany me to the top of Pedra Bonita. I told him it was a place where I liked to meditate and talk to myself. On the way down, I always brought new insights about the difficulties I carried going up; problems turned into opportunities. Without exception. After some hesitation, Eduardo accepted the invitation. I said nothing about Cléo, the witch, for two reasons. First, I didn’t always find her there. Second, she was a sort of urban legend; although her stories circulated throughout the city, few people had met her in person. Those who had, myself included, were often thought to be delusional. I never cared. Trying to convince others is the practice of fools.
When we reached the top, we sat facing the vastness of the ocean. We closed our eyes to meditate, a wonderful way to have a conversation with the soul. We agreed to share thoughts afterward about the issues that troubled us. We stayed silent for a time I couldn’t measure until I heard the screeching of seagulls. I hoped it wasn’t her. Since I knew nothing of Eduardo’s spiritual background, I was unsure how he would receive the witch. When I opened my eyes, Cléo was dancing with her multi-coloured dress and long black hair in tune with the ocean breeze. The birds were like supporting characters in that fantastic ballet. I noticed that my friend was already watching her, fascinated and curious. He looked at me as if asking whether I knew what this was about. I gave an intentionally vague nod that could mean anything. Without asking permission, she sat on a rock in front of us, at the edge of the mountain. She turned to Eduardo and, without any ceremony, asked, “What is the reason for so much suffering?” Irreparable losses, as if the ground had been pulled out from under me, he answered promptly, unbothered by the stranger’s presence. He then recounted the events that had tormented him. The beautiful witch listened without interruption or commentary. She let the pain pour out, let the tears come, so that perhaps space might emerge for the healing of someone broken by so much suffering. Without changing the calm tone of her voice, Cléo observed, “I asked about the reason for the suffering, but I didn’t hear one. You spoke of losses, yet I couldn’t identify even a single one.” Distressed, Eduardo spread his arms as if to say there was no point in explaining what was already self-evident, and simply commented that the chaos explained itself. The witch remained serene as she disagreed. “Not always. Truth rests behind many curtains. The facts you label as chaos due to their apparent destructiveness have different meanings depending on the layers of truth you’ve managed to uncover.”
Eduardo said it would take great insensitivity not to see that nothing was left of his life. His career and his wife gave his life meaning. In just a few weeks, a nearly thirty-year job and a twenty-five-year marriage had turned to dust. He doubted he had the strength to start over. Cléo corrected him: “What you understand as a massive destruction, from one perspective, yes, it happened. In some ways, not one stone was left standing. However, your existential moment deserves a deeper analysis.” Eduardo interrupted to say that every day he woke up without the woman he loved by his side and, being unemployed, he had nothing to do with the time now available to him. Although the job was stressful due to intense political pressure on the agency’s executives, he had grown used to handling such high-stress situations. He even liked it. As for his wife, despite her difficult and irritable temperament, especially when her desires weren’t met, he loved her deeply. He admired her beauty and social finesse; she had her own style and a singular personality. He believed they would be together until the end of their days. She was like a pillar that held him up or the engine that kept him running. When the agency was privatized, he held on to hope that he would keep his job because of his extensive experience in the field, which he considered his greatest asset. But it was no use. When he received his dismissal notice, his wife was traveling in Europe with a friend. He thought he would have her support in such a difficult moment, but upon returning, she announced her decision to end the marriage. He tried to talk to her, but Helena, as she was called, had always been unyielding when it came to negotiating her will. He felt lost. He felt no hatred or resentment. All that remained were frustration and disappointment. No other feeling fit inside him.
The witch smiled as if she had been waiting for those answers. She pointed out in her gentle voice: “Disappointment happens when expectations aren’t met. An illusion has been undone. Disillusionment is the certain fate of every illusion. As the word defines, every illusion is a mistaken representation of reality; a deception coming out of hiding, a mirage revealed as unreal, a lie we believed to be true. Disillusionment only occurs where illusion once was. Most of the time, illusions are built on convenience driven by pride, vanity, greed, excessive desire, or comfort. There are many causes, but one truth: nothing and no one deceives us unless we leave a gap for the lie to settle in”. Eduardo said he didn’t understand at what moment he allowed himself to believe in illusions. Cléo explained: “When you staked your happiness and joy on things beyond your control. The illusion appears in believing that something or someone could fill the inner abyss, a vast gravitational void that opens up in the negligence of any given day, and like an insatiable monster, drains and exhausts life. All pleasure will be short-lived; the image in the mirror will show someone who isn’t there because he isn’t anywhere.” Alarmed, Eduardo nodded as if he knew what the beautiful witch was talking about. He asked where to find joy and happiness. Cléo was firm: “You are the source of your joys, whose origin lies in seeing the good in all situations; what lights up life is the clarity of your gaze.” She looked out at the endless sea for a moment and continued: “Joy is a virtue that, like all others, must be understood and embraced as a tool for self-construction and good living. Happiness, in turn, arises from realizing that you’ve become a different and better person, more creative and loving each day. It’s a state of fulfilment directly tied to your evolutionary process, resulting from the ability to look back and see how far you’ve come. As long as you believe you need something or someone to give you what you can only find within yourself, you’ll continue cycling through illusions and disillusions, disappointments and frustrations. Nothing and no one will be able to lift you from the abyss. Each of us resurfaces through our own efforts, by understanding that light is a personal victory, the conquest of oneself. Sharing our joy and happiness with the world is wonderful. However, we can only give what we possess; no one offers flowers if they live in a barren desert. Build yourself as the masterpiece of your life, never forgetting that, contrary to what many think, usefulness holds more beauty than design. By tending your own garden, you’ll have life’s power in your hands. You’ll be able to love everyone. As long as there are no demands or dependencies, all relationships are enriched by the differences that explain and improve us. This self-love with which we must care for ourselves unlocks the mystery hidden in the troubadours’ verses: this is the love that sets us free.”
Cléo went on: “Love everyone you can, but never pay rent to joy or happiness. The meaning of life must dwell inside you. If you don’t find it in your own choices and actions, it means you haven’t yet understood it.” She adjusted her long black hair swaying in the wind and warned of the danger of believing that things or people can complete us: “You’ll become a recurring victim of the traps of frustration, a more severe variant of disappointment due to the harmful effect of making us feel powerless in the face of the unexpected; the falls will seem final because of an apparent inability to respond. Uncontrollable events will happen many times throughout life, as we have no control over the choices of others. Get used to the unexpected. There is nothing wrong with the impermanence of winds that blow in all directions; on the contrary, they teach us to deal with all kinds of situations and difficulties, and through that, consolidate our inner strength and balance. In overcoming each setback, a victory over oneself. Only then do we feel the power of life in our own hands; the soul’s beauty emerges, the garden blooms, and we enchant the world. However, don’t forget to thank the unexpected for the difficulty it brought.” Then she made a point before asking: “If feelings drive or imprison thoughts, how will the person who lets the best of life fade because of uncontrollable events feel?” Bitter, anxious, depressed, cowardly, or angry were some of Eduardo’s answers. The witch followed with another question: “Do you see that feelings are decisive in shaping who we are?” Eduardo nodded yes. She continued: “Kindness, serenity, joy, courage, hope, gentleness, and faith are some of the many forms of self-love available, which will surely allow for very different days.” She gave a beautiful smile and concluded: “Life offers a path according to each feeling.”
She then clarified: “Feelings depend on how the individual relates to themselves, a key factor in understanding how they will deal with each event, the seed of every flower or thorn that sprouts in the heart to propel or sabotage thoughts. It means going beyond or falling short of oneself.”
Eduardo fell silent, as if needing to organize the shelves of his mind and the cupboards of his heart. Then, he said he was beginning to understand that what he had called chaos was actually the need for a major and essential inner reorganization. However, he claimed that life had been too harsh in taking away, all at once, what mattered most. Cléo furrowed her brows and reminded him: “If you see the events as an irreparable loss, you’ll feel enormous frustration and, consequently, be overtaken by a sense of powerlessness capable of plunging you into utter despair. But if you look at the situation in search of the teacher hidden in every hardship, you’ll understand chaos as a compulsory, yet essential pause to reassess, rethink, and reinvent yourself. A wonderful opportunity to restart from new foundations. The destruction that occurred removed from your life things, situations, and people that made evolutionary changes more difficult. Not that anything or anyone prevented you; what trapped you was the attachment you had to everything around you. By knocking down the prison walls, life helped free you from the trap built by the limiting behaviour you had adopted as your way of being and living. What many interpret as losses are, in truth, boarding platforms for life’s most important journeys, because of the fantastic opportunities for transformation they allow. Evolutionary gains that would take years or might never even be possible in this lifetime, due to your view of certain mistakes as convenient and satisfying, may now become achievable in a matter of months. Rise and walk. Life is inviting you to deep reflections, to look at yourself in a new way, to review concepts, values, and choices; to know yourself better, deepen feelings, broaden ideas and possibilities. Rebuild yourself in a way you never thought possible.” She arched her lips in a lovely smile and made a statement followed by a question that required no answer: “Instead of feeling betrayed, can you see life’s act of love toward you?” Then she concluded: “Be grateful and make the most of it.”
My friend went silent again. This time for a long while. His eyes searched for boats at the edge of the Atlantic horizon. Boats sailing at the whim of the winds and the mercy of the tides, heading toward destinations incompatible with the truth of his soul. He was bringing the boats back to port so they could begin their voyage anew. It was in that poetic tone that he spoke as he returned from his introspection. He said he understood that, despite holding a position of apparent power, whose decisions had significant repercussions on the country’s economy, he had always been constrained by political forces that, in reality, made the decisions for him. In part, a puppet, a parody of a powerful man; a ship adrift. Though he had refused to see it, the marriage had sunk many years ago. He no longer remembered the last time his wife had shown him affection and care; Helena’s fascination was with political ballrooms, lavish receptions, privileges, and the luxury he could no longer provide. There was no lament or melodrama. Only the awakening of consciousness. No grudges or resentment, but with humility in recognizing how much was still left to build within himself; with simplicity in removing the masks of self-deception, setting aside disillusionments, and drawing closer to truth; with compassion and respect to, even without agreeing, accept people as they are, since no one can demand the perfection they don’t possess to offer; with sincerity in acknowledging that everything happened because he allowed it to, and, not least, with deep gratitude for the doors opening within him, through which he could move forward and grow. A new man was born, whose only power sought was to become the master of a beautiful inner garden. He understood that choices multiply with a clear gaze, that truth leads to the best of them, and that virtues are the tools that transform reality. There was much love inside him, love for himself and for life. That was enough to begin again. Overtaken by a deep joy, Eduardo smiled as he hadn’t in a long time. It wasn’t the smile of social politeness nor the unconscious reflex of some insecurity. It was the smile of a heart that had found peace. He turned to the witch and murmured as if it were essential to repeat a secret so he would never forget it: “For every feeling. there is a path.”
Cléo didn’t say a word. Then, accompanied by seagulls, she began to spin at the edge of the cliff at dizzying speed. Her dress seemed to form multi-coloured wings. In this fantastic ballet, she drifted away from where we stood until she disappeared. The Eduardo who had climbed Pedra Bonita was never seen again; the one who descended was a different Eduardo. He became a very handsome man. To those who wanted to know the secret of his beauty, he would say he was grateful for the hardships.
Translated by: Cazmilian Zórdic
